The Secret to a Better Night's Sleep

CAN YOU RELATE?

Throughout the majority of my 20’s I would rarely get a good night’s sleep. Not only was falling asleep a problem, but I would wake up in the early hours of the morning, quite often triggered by a migraine and accompanied with a sense of dread and anxiety about the day ahead. I would find myself laying there, going over everything in my head and going through all the accompanying emotions; anger, sadness, fear… and the rest! I would relive and dramatise things from the past, over and over again, and live a worst case scenario future that had not even happened, or was even likely too! 

Infact, 90% of the things we worry about don’t actually come true so when we choose to worry and obsess over things (yes, it is a choice!) we are pretty much torturing ourselves for no reason! Besides, even if what you worry about does come true, the act of worrying and overthinking never helps a situation - all it does is make us weaker and less able to handle any challenges that do come our way with the resilience and grace that is required.

I get it… it’s so easy to say “don’t worry” and “stop overthinking,” but so much harder to actually stop doing it. Often we end up in a loop whereby unhelpful thoughts and irrational nervous system responses trigger unhealthy habits and actions and vice versa…. And the pattern continues.

We must have the strength to break this cycle if we want to experience real change in our lives, and get a well deserved good night’s sleep! We will go into this in a little more depth but first let's take a look at the transformation that can take place when you experience better sleep.

 THE SIDE EFFECTS OF NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP

Sleep affects everything which is why I decided to write this post - good quality sleep is the foundation for a healthy body and happy mind! It’s so hard to put all the other practices and healthy habits into place when you’re not feeling well rested, clear and energised. 

If you’re not getting enough sleep, it’s likely you’ll experience some of the following side effects, as I did (and still do on occasions when sleep eludes me):

• Lack of focus and concentration 

• Low willpower leading to less healthy choices, such as food choice

• Low energy and motivation 

• Easily triggered and reactive (emotionally)

• Irritability and lack of patience 

• Increased levels of anxiety and stress

• Lethargy and weakness

• More susceptible to illness (low immune system)

• Lack of excitement and enthusiasm for the things you love 

• Struggle with weight loss

 THE GOOD NEWS

The good news is there are some amazing benefits to getting a good night’s sleep. As I said above - this is life changing stuff! 

• More energy and enthusiasm 

• More willpower leading to better choices which in turn leads to improved wellness and quality of life

• Greater patience and understanding for others and situations leading to more peace for you

• An ability to be more present and therefore able to access positive states of being 

• Improved immune system - feeling healthier in your body more often!

• Better focus and concentration meaning more productivity and more time in the present moment 

• Increased levels of confidence and calm 

• Better able to manage your emotions and understand and deal with your triggers without reacting

• Easier to lose weight 

So how do we create this transformation….. ?

 THERE ARE NO QUICK FIXES

Firstly, this is sooo important to understand….

If you eat healthy for one day and do one gym session you’re not going to suddenly have the body of your dreams. If you meditate once, you can’t expect to suddenly reach enlightenment. If you only practice a healthy bedtime routine once a week you can’t expect to suddenly begin sleeping like a baby. 

Sorry - there are no quick fixes! Optimal health and wellness always comes down to small but consistent daily habits!

To make any improvements to your sleep you need to approach the topic from a holistic perspective. You must dedicate time and patience to creating new habits and you have to develop a healthy mindset to go with it. To break the habits keeping you from a great night’s sleep, you must learn to think and act greater than you feel!

Honestly, this is the hardest part. Once you start taking action you’ll realise it’s not that difficult, but overcoming the programming in your body takes strength, resilience, self belief and a positive mindset. Ultimately, you’re the only one that can help yourself, and you’re the only one that can make the choice to do so. 

 CREATING HEALTHY HABITS

You probably already know a lot of what I am going to suggest you do - it’s usually not the knowledge that we lack but the willpower to actually put things into practice. So, although I am going to run through a few suggested actions you take to facilitate better sleep, I want to focus on helping you to understand how to successfully implement these habits.

 WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MAKE CHANGES?

Our past experiences are literally programmed into our bodies. The energy from the past is within our nervous system which is why we can often experience completely irrational reactions to circumstances. We may feel a strong emotion or nervous system response in our bodies such as fear, shame, rejection, or an increased heartbeat, when something seemingly small and harmless happens to us. 

This energy continues to be fed by the thoughts we have (which are fuelled by how we feel), and these thoughts continue to strengthen the power of this energy within our bodies. The loop continues until we do the inner work to break it! Within us are a lifetime of beliefs that we did not consciously choose and which do not support our growth and our health and wellbeing, (and ability to fall asleep!)

 EXAMPLES OF PROGRAMMING

You might always feel like you’ve done something wrong because guilt is programmed into your body. You might have consistently low self esteem and confidence because feelings of not being enough are programmed into your body. You may experience chronic anxiety because the feeling of unsafety is programmed into your body. 

These are just a few of the most common examples. It might be hard to accept but I can guarantee that you have lots of this unconscious programming in your body too. You might not be aware of it yet but awareness is the key to change and transformation so please be open to creating this awareness, to casting a light onto your shadows.

There's nothing wrong with you.... we are all in the same boat here!

This programming, that exists within the cells of our bodies, rules our lives; our habits, thoughts, actions, how we see the world, and therefore, our whole reality is dependent upon this energy that exists within our bodies. 

If you’re programmed to feel unworthy, you may sabotage your ability to sleep by not having the willpower to implement a healthy bedtime routine.

If you’re programmed to feel unsafe, you will find it incredibly difficult to fall asleep, as your body will literally be on alert to life threatening danger - actively in the fight or flight response. 

If you’re programmed to feel guilt you may also sabotage your ability to implement healthy habits by feeling bad about putting your own wellbeing first or by fuelling thoughts that you’ve done something wrong and therefore increasing your levels of anxiety - again you’re putting your body into fight or flight and there is no chance you can fall asleep in this state unless you are completely exhausted. 

 DO THE FOUNDATIONAL WORK FIRST

So, I can write you a list of all the habits you should implement to facilitate a better night’s sleep, and yes these are so so important, and I will be sharing them. However, if you don’t do the deeper inner work, if you don’t work on releasing old energy, invalidating old beliefs and creating new states of being within the body, you will find it hard to experience a true transformation, and keep up these new healthy habits. 

I hope I’ve convinced you of the importance of this inner work. If so, and if you are ready to make the choice to be happier and healthier, and to successfully implement the below “healthy sleep” practices, I’ve created this journaling worksheet to help you get started. This is an ongoing process you should continue to work on. Do this and you will find the benefits of the below habits so much greater, and the implementation of them a lot easier. 

To download the journaling worksheet, click here!

Keep reading to learn about my top three recommended healthy sleep habits. I've kept this short because it's really about consistency rather than quantity. If you can start by focusing on these three things and implement them successfully you will naturally continue to add healthier habits to your life which will all take you in the direction you desire to go.

 HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS

Food and exercise 

Check in with your diet and how often you exercise. Be honest with yourself. You need a balanced diet of healthy fats, proteins, complex carbohydrates and fruits and vegetables. What are you eating as your last meal of the day? This will impact your sleep. Everyone is different so there is no one size fits all diet or best time to eat. You can make a choice right now to become more conscious and mindful of your eating habits. 

Food is medicine and eating the right things can cure you from illness and prevent so many health issues. There is enough information out there for you to empower yourself to eat in a way that works for you and facilitates better sleep. Go out there and do the research, don’t restrict yourself, but make healthier choices that support your wellbeing. You don’t have to get this perfect straight away, or ever for that matter - we are not aiming for perfection, just growth. However, you do need to take control of, and understand, what you are fuelling your body with. You are what you eat! 

If you’re not getting enough exercise during the day, you might find it difficult to sleep. Experiment with different forms of exercise at different times and find what works for you. Yoga is a great way to get your body moving and also a perfect way to finish off the day. Besides reaping the rewards of moving your body you will receive the benefits of stress reduction, which brings me nicely onto my next point!

Stress Relief 

When most people think of stress they think of being obviously stressed out, perhaps being in a high pressure or highly dangerous environment or situation. However, the majority of us are not obviously stressed out on the outside, but on the inside our bodies are still spending the majority of time, if not all of the time in the stress response. This is caused by our thoughts, over stimulating environments and yes, the programming within our bodies. 

So as I mentioned above, if you are spending too much time in the stress response, you will find it very difficult to sleep because of the hormones that are being released into your body.

Your body is shifting its energy resources towards fighting off or running away from something life threatening. Cortisol and adrenaline are released into the body to enable you to react to this life threatening danger. This “life threatening danger” could simply be you overthinking the presentation you have to do the next day and all the things that could go wrong, or it could be a past experience that you have stored in your body causing you to feel constantly unsafe. 

One of the most powerful ways you can manage stress is through breathing techniques and some forms of meditation. When you breathe properly, full deep breaths, and slow your breathing down, you will signal to the body that you are safe and the autonomic nervous system will move into rest and digest, facilitating a state in which you can more easily fall asleep. 

Training yourself to breathe properly through the nose, and not the mouth, is also going to have a huge impact on your sleep and overall health. Start focusing on doing this throughout your day and whenever you think about it. Mouth breathing is proven to put you at a higher risk of developing sleep disorders so you can imagine how important this is for your sleep health. 

There are many other stress management techniques that you can explore and I urge you to find what works for you. These should be implemented throughout your day, not just in the evening or when you are feeling stressed. The key thing is that you are teaching the body to feel relaxed and safe. This is something that takes time and should be a consistent daily practice. All it takes is one minute of conscious breathing or a five minute walk in nature. You do not need more time, you just need the strength and determination to commit.

It’s the little things done with consistency that have the most impact - the biggest mistake you can make is to underestimate these little changes and habits. 

Fill up your cup in the morning!

It might seen strange to talk about your morning routine when discussing getting better sleep, however, a good night's sleep starts the moment you wake up in the morning. 

Filling up your cup means ensuring you have enough energy within you when you start your day.

Throughout the day we naturally use energy and give it away to other people, circumstances, thoughts and so on. We cannot use or give away something that we don't already have within us.

If you want to show patience, compassion and understanding towards others you must first cultivate patience, compassion and understanding for yourself. 

If you want to love others you must first love yourself.

If you want to deal with high pressure situations, triggers and anything that puts a toll on you emotionally, physically, or mentally, you must have enough positive energy, self belief, strength and calm within you to be resilient to these daily challenges. 

Start your day off without checking in and perhaps in a state of anxiety and self doubt, feeling stressed, fearful, down about your life or low on physical energy, and you will find you are much more reactive and emotionally triggered, tired, moody and impatient. 

You'll end your day feeling depleted, anxious and ungrounded, and your state of mind and being will not be conducive to relaxation and a good night's sleep. You are less likely to do the things in the evening that you know will help you sleep better such as staying away from screens, eating healthier and practicing yoga or meditation.

You are more likely to binge watch Netflix or numb yourself out through excessive social media use or checking your phone constantly.

I'm not saying never do these things but know that there is usually a more mindful and healthy way to do it. Be intentional and conscious about the things you are consuming closer to bedtime. 

The more conscious you are at the beginning of the day the more you will be able to maintain this throughout your day and into your evening,

If you haven't done the work throughout the day to stay grounded; keep your nervous system in a calm state and your mindset positive, this will accumulate in the evenings and significantly impact your ability to fall asleep. You may spend the first few hours in bed overthinking everything that you haven't properly processed or dealt with throughout your day or worrying about the next day.

And so the cycle continues!

Need a little inspiration? I filmed this short yoga flow to help you fill up your cup in less that 15 minutes!

SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO FEEL BAD

One of the biggest things I find that stops people from implementing healthier habits and being more mindful is that initially they feel a lot worse. This is normal but will not last forever! 

When we give ourselves more time for stillness and self care and less time distracting ourselves mindlessly through excessive social media or phone use, binging Netflix or overworking, we start to feel all the emotions that we have been covering up. Besides this we bring awareness to everything that is actually going on in our heads, which can actually be quite a shocking thing to experience at first. 

However, would you rather face all this stuff head on so you can release it and make positive changes, or would you rather continue to be ruled by negative thought patterns and deeply repressed emotions? 

Personally I want to be the one in control of how I feel and in control of my life. I want to understand the stuff that is going on in my mind and my body so I can make space for new and empowering beliefs and emotions that lead me to a life that I deserve - and allow me to get a great night's sleep!

What about you?

CONCLUSION

If you've come to this post you're probably interested in improving your sleep, or at least improving some aspect of your health and wellness. It's important to understand that if you continue doing things the way you've always done them; the same habits, the same thoughts, the same reactions, the same complaints... and so on... you will continue to get exactly the same results. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity!

So are you prepared to create real change? How badly to you want a good night's sleep? When you get one you'll realise what you've been missing! 

Whatever changes you want to make in your life, I can guarantee the best path to take is always a holistic one. Look at all the areas of your life and wellbeing, and as I have highlighted already, pay special attention to the programming within your mind and your body. This is so often missed when we try to implement new habits and the reason why they often don't stick!

All change comes from within. You must transform on a deeper energetic level, from the inside out, if you want to experience real changes in your physically reality. 

Start now by committing to the above healthy sleep habits and beginning to unpack your limiting beliefs and programs using these journaling prompts!

And finally, whatever your situation, please be kind to your body! Treat it and speak about it/to it with love if you want it to return the favour with a good night's sleep and optimal health.

Thank you so much for reading and wishing you an incredible night's sleep! Please share this post with anyone who you feel may benefit from it.

Sweet dreams,

Lucy x