My Story

Buckle up, because I have a story to tell. This is a long one, but it's SO worth reading to the end!

I always felt as though something was wrong with me. As though I didn't fit in. I remember the feeling from a very young age, when I was at primary school.

I was painfully shy and I remember so vividly feeling "not pretty enough" - I was constantly comparing myself to my much prettier and more confident friends - none of the boys would ever ask me out 🙄 and I developed a deep sense of being unworthy, unpretty and broken. 

When I look back I have so much compassion for this little version of me. I think how sad it is that its possible to feel this way at such a young age... and I'm sure this is not uncommon. Maybe you have memories or feelings like this too. 

In my teenage years, this unworthiness led me into my first relationship, which reflected back to me all that I was carrying within me. This was a hugely influential period in my life... this relationship lasted for over 10 years up to the age of 26. 

Though it has taken me a lot of healing, I have fully forgiven myself and my then boyfriend for this dynamic - and I share this story from a place of pure awareness, compassion and love for those young versions of ourselves. To be matter of fact about it, this relationship was violent, abusive and controlling.  

I own the part I played in this relationship fully. I do not share this story from the place of a victim. I choose to see it now as a necessary experience in my growth. I can understand that a lot of my limitations have arisen from this experience: - my relationship dynamics, the way my nervous system responds to perfectly safe situations as if it is life or death 🤦🏽‍♀️ the mental programming that sometimes keeps me playing small and makes me feel unworthy, my inability to express myself... just to name a few 😅

I have, without a doubt, experienced HUGE transformations in all of the above but I am still aware of these tendencies. I am grateful for this awareness. I continue to use it as an opportunity for growth and expansion, rather than an excuse for being a certain way, or for not taking action. 

I fully lost my identity in this relationship. I honestly had no idea who I was or what I truly wanted. I was completely disconnected from my body and my desires.

I believe the first time I really did something for ME that was not tied up in this relationship, was when I travelled to Australia for the first time, shortly after the relationship ended.

Embarking on a solo trip to the other side of the world felt like the kind of bold action I needed to take to feel the sense of freedom I craved SO intensely, and ultimately to rediscover who I was and what I actually wanted out of my life. 

Leading up to this decision I had also started to connect to and honour my body for the first time - running, going to the gym and thinking about what I was eating, rather than living on takeaways, high sugar foods and destroying my body with binge drinking, (this was by no means the end of this, but it was a start 😆 ).

Though this was still inspired somewhat by a lack of self worth, and wanting to change the way I looked physically, it was also a massive act of self love - the moment I started to choose myself and listen to my body, for the first time!

I believe that this act of self love; beginning to choose myself by thinking about my body, and somewhat listening to it, was the catalyst that changed the trajectory of my life.. that led me take that first trip to Australia to embark on the creation of a life that was mine, and led by the desires within my heart.  

This was only the beginning, and by no means was I particularly healthy and happy during this period of my life. However, the experience of exploring beautiful Australia was something that was in my heart. I was finally moving in the direction of MY dreams.

Since this first trip to Australia in 2014 I have had two serious relationships, lived in Spain, Australia (for a second time), London, and also spent time living back in my home town and the village where I grew up in Lincolnshire, (UK). Besides a lot of traveling in between!

I came to Bali last July, for a 3 month trip, and then didn't go home 😁 (as it now stands I am home visiting!)

There is a lot of detail in these years I would love to go into, but I'll save that for my book/autobiography 😉

Apart from the year I just spent in Bali, which was mind-blowing and so expansive (and a whole other email), the other pivotal moment in my life was during my second relationship when I was living in Barcelona, Spain. During this time I was living a life, that looked insanely beautiful and fulfilling from the outside.

I was working part time as an English teacher, living the Spanish lifestyle, spending afternoons on the beach and enjoying long lunches with my clients, sipping wine and eating tapas. On the outside, my life looked amazing.

On the inside I was deeply unsatisfied; in my job, in my relationship, and in myself. At the end of every week, on a Friday, I would break down in tears, from the build up of anxiety I had been feeling throughout the week. This would be followed by a very short period of relief before the anxiety started to build again ready for Monday morning. 

I know now, that the anxiety and unworthiness was within me, and it was being reflected back to me in my reality. I was spending hours in the gym, trying to make myself feel good enough, yet guilting myself over my food choices and constantly putting myself down when I looked in the mirror. 

I was also trying to control my outside circumstances to manage the uncomfortable feelings that consumed me almost constantly, trying to change other people's behaviour or numbing out through drinking, excessive phone use and any distraction that took me away from the painful emptiness and overwhelming anxiety that lived within me.

And then, one day, a massive shift took place. I've experienced many of these moment in my life, but this was possibly the most profound. In this moment, I just could not take it anymore. I was so tired of living this way. Tired of my own excuses. The pain of staying the same had become bigger than the pain I would need to go through to change. 

I had heard a little about meditation and its life changing benefits and practiced yoga a few times at home. I actually remember so clearly the feeling of joy and presence I felt after the first time I practiced yoga - I was hanging out the washing and I felt so happy and fulfilled. I had never experienced that level of peace and happiness from doing a mundane task before. This feeling has always stuck with me, and now I'm delighted to say, I feel this way often.

So, in this dark night of the soul moment, I decided to devote myself fully to meditation and to delve more deeply into yoga. I started getting up at 5am every single day to meditate before going to work. I never felt like doing it but I was determined to change and I couldn't bare to live with all this pain inside me any longer. 

As I continued to meditate daily and started going to yoga classes regularly, things began to slowly but surely shift within me. I leant into the inspiration to start reading more and became obsessed with books on mindfulness, spirituality, the law of attraction and all things personal development. 

The feeling of anxiety, that had, unknowingly up to this point, consumed me for most of my life, began to lessen. I felt a sense of relief and inner peace that I had never encountered before, and most importantly, for the first time in a really long time I began to see the potential for myself and my life, and feel excited about fulfilling it. 

Shortly after, I quit my job, found the strength to end my relationship, moved back to England to study to be a Personal Trainer, and then headed back to Australia to start my career in the world of health and fitness. 

I had some of the most incredible personal training jobs ever when I lived in Australia this second time round - my office was the beach and I saw the sunrise every morning while I got to teach people to do what I loved 🥰 I was teaching people the very things that had changed my life - to connect to, honour and love their bodies and challenge themselves physically and mentally. 

I started my very first health and wellness business in Australia, where I combined my love of meditation, yoga and fitness - it was called Ocean Personal Training - and though I never experienced the success I knew I was destined for, I am so fond of the memories, the lessons and the people that were part of my business in the early days. If you're one of those people, thank you 🫶🏽

This business has evolved into what it is today, Flow with Lucy (Flow Fitness) and is something I am so immensely proud of.

I don't think I would have experienced so much personal growth if it wasn't for the devotion to entrepreneurship. It really is something you have to live and breathe.. and if you want to create a truly successful and fulfilling business you have to start from inside you!

There are many more layers to my story that I would love to share with you sometime. For now I will end with this - My life is beautiful and gets more exciting and inspiring every single day.. it's not always easy, I still manage feelings of anxiety and unworthiness but I no longer allow them to control me, or mean anything about who I am, or where I am going. Every day I become more confident, more powerful and more turned on by life!

Despite the low moments that are inevitably human, my life is incredibly fulfilling and I am more aligned with my dreams than ever before.

I am currently based in Bali. Until recently I was running my in person yoga business (which was located in the UK) remotely, but a few months ago I made the hard decision to let go of this. These beautiful classes are still going strong, now in the very capable hands of another amazing yoga teacher; Rachel at Daisy Chain Yoga 

I now focus on the creation of online courses and provide 1:1 coaching.

My burning desire is to share what I know and love, what inspires me and helps me to expand and experience more beauty, satisfaction and success in my life... to do what I can to make my corner of the world a better place!

 And so, I help my clients (people like you!):

✨ Cultivate deep self love, a 🔥 hot bod🔥 + and an unapologetic sense of self worth!

✨ Use their bodies as a powerful tool 💁🏽‍♀️ for moving confidently towards their desires (and a "OMFG this is my life" kind of reality!) 🤯

I believe that the internal relationship with your yourself is THE most important factor when it comes to fulfilling your potential - in your body, relationships, career and beyond!

I also have an extremely open mind, a big open heart and I  believe in living a magical existence in which I break the rules and manifest ridiculous and "unrealistic" goals 😜

I created a hugely successful in-person yoga business, running classes and retreats, simply by following my intuition and then letting the classes and community speak for themselves 💁🏽‍♀️

You can think of me as your Yogini Self Love Superhero 😉 here to save the planet from a mundane existence, one that is devoid of love + sexy and empowered women living from their hearts, (sounds awful, right?)

Wherever I go, deeply connected and empowered women + beautiful humans living "OMFG this is my life" realities follow 🥰  

My message for you today is that you are so damn powerful and worthy - any desire that is currently sitting in your heart is there to be fulfilled and you are capable of making it happen. It starts with YOU. It starts WITHIN.

You (and your body) are beautiful exactly as you are - but if you want to feel hotter, sexier and more madly in love with yourself, you can make that happen with the right guidance and some devotion.

When you realise all the above, your life will start to change in magical and mind-blowing ways 🥰✨ It did for me!

If you feel curious about working with me through my 1:1 coaching program or in one of my courses, book a complimentary consultation here!

Sending so much love, always 🌴☀️

Lucy x